


Gay For Pay

by Bibsibi



Series: We Can All Get Some (We Can All Get Paid) [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Roomates AU, blowjob, its not actually prostitution, just saying so there is no confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 20:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12801393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bibsibi/pseuds/Bibsibi
Summary: “You're not gonna prostitute yourself to me, Ashton.”“Have you never heard of gay for pay?”OrLuke and Ashton are roomates and broke.





	Gay For Pay

**From: Ashton (9:37 PM)**

_Hey, are you awake?_

 

Luke snorts as he reads the text message that just showed up on his phone. Did Ashton really think he was that lame? Sure, they used to tease him a lot back in high school and he received a handful of insults from Michael for going to bed at 10 pm, but being 19 years old in college with his own place doesn’t give him much time to go to sleep this early anymore. He doesn't even remember the last time he got a proper 8 hours of sleep. With school work, and his job as a busboy in a breakfast restaurant that barely gives him enough money to pay the bills, and keeping somewhat of a decent social life to stay sane, it’s practically impossible.

 

For instance, it's Friday night and he's doing a math homework (he really doesn't know why he's still taking math class when he knows he's not going to need it for his future career. He guess it's just to be safe). He could have gone out with some friends, but, even if he doesn't like to admit it, he's a bit of a goody two shoes. He likes doing his homework on time and studying to have a good grasp on the subject. But he's mostly punk-rock. Yeah, Luke is definitely punk-rock.

 

He rubs his eyes and decides to take a break from his endless formulas as he grabs his phone to type his answer.

 

**To: Ashton (9:38 PM)**

Nan, my bedtime is at 9.

 

**From: Ashton (9:38 PM)**

_That's what I thought._

 

The answer comes almost immediately.  _Pathetic,_ Luke humorously thinks. He shakes his head with a grin and get up from his work set on the kitchen table to find something to eat. There's chinese left over in the fridge.  _Sweet._

 

**From: Ashton (9:39 PM)**

_Can we hang out? I kinda need to ask you a favour..._

 

Luke scrunches his nose as he reads the message. He hopes Ashton isn't in some kind of trouble. It's not his type and he's pretty sure Ashton would have told him if something was going on, but since Luke moved to another town an hour away from Sydney to go to college a year ago, they haven't seen each other as much as they used to.

 

It was kind of drastic, going from spending nearly every day for three years with the same people to once every week, sometimes twice a month.

 

It sure as hell had an influence on Luke's mood. He was on his own in a new city, feeling lonely without his friends and family, knowing that, on their side, they could still see each other every day. It dragged him down at first; he even considered quitting school, but he's a sensible guy so that idea didn't stay for too long. Anyway, the other boys threatened to destroy the album of Green Day he left in Calum's room the summer before if he dropped out of college. Plus, he knew his mom would kick his ass if he did.

 

With time, he made some friends and didn't feel as lonely anymore. He was surviving, but still feeling homesick. A couple of weeks prior, though, Ashton had gotten a job at a house painting company in Luke's new town and moved there. They got to hang out more, almost like when they were in high school and it made Luke's college experience a little easier, the weight on his shoulders a little lighter.

 

**To: Ashton (9:40 PM)**

Yeah sure. Is everything alright?

 

**From: Ashton (9:42 PM)**

_Yeah yeah, it's no big deal._

 

**To: Ashton (9:43 PM)**

Alright then, come over.

 

The sound of the microwave indicates Luke that his food is ready and he quickly gets it out to calm his screaming stomach. He didn't  realize how hungry he was until now. It's not surprising though, he  hasn't eat en since lunch time. It's something that happens often: he starts studying and doesn't stop for hours. He can start a project at 4 pm and when he looks up to see how much time he's taken, it's past midnight. Luke knows he isn't living a super healthy life, but what college student is?

 

He opens the fridge to get himself a beer because he deserves it, but has to face the sad reality that there's none left. He sighs as he tells himself that he doesn't have money to buy more for at least another two weeks. He just paid the rent and doesn't have a lot left, barely enough to buy groceries.

 

His unsure financial state often stresses Luke out, not knowing if he's going to make the month. On his worst days, he has to remind himself that some people have it harder than he does and if he really needs money he can ask his parents to lend him some. Luke just really doesn't like to need their help. He doesn't want to worry them and he feels like he should be able to survive on his own now that he's an adult. He’s always been stubborn.

 

A knock on the door snaps him out of his worried thoughts.

 

“Just come in, Ash!” he yells, his mouth full of Singapore noodles. He doesn't bother to go greet his friend, they are long past those formalities.

 

“You know,” Ashton speaks as he's walking into the kitchen, his usual backpack hanging on one shoulder and his long dirty hair falling on his face, “I could have been a killer for all you know. One day you're gonna get murdered.”

 

He drops his bag on the floor and sits on the chair in front of Luke, pushing his hair away from his eyes. It comes back to its original position as soon as his hand is back on the table. He inspects Luke's improvised work area, taking in the mess of papers scattered around on the table and the floor. They both know there's no system in it. It's just chaos.

 

“I see you are going hard at math. Invented a new theorem yet? Or have you lost it somewhere in the mess that is your life?”

 

Speaking of mess, Luke notices how dishevelled Ashton looks. He's wearing an old ripped Queen t-shirt with some worn out jeans and Converse, his face is gleaming with the sweat and dirt of the day —somehow emphasizing his stubble— and his hair is greasy and looks like it’s giving him a hard time. The blond wonders how he can still look handsome in this state.

 

“Man,” Luke says after inspecting his friend, not caring enough to find a quick reply to his murder comment or his insult about his method of work, “you look like shit.”

 

“And you,” Ashton retorts in a heartbeat, like he expected some kind of comment, but still arching an eyebrow, “still have a shit personality, Lucas.”

 

Luke can't help but laugh at that. It's true, he's mean to his friend, but he knows the older boy is not insulted and doesn't mean what he said. They always tease each other. Actually, he starts laughing too. “T'was a long day,” he mumbles with a tired smile, rubbing his eyes and his face with both hands.

 

“What happened?” Luke asks, not too worried because Ashton looks okay, but still curious. He knows Ashton can be good at hiding his pain.

 

“Y'know,” he shrugs, “Just everything was crap. Got pulled over by a cop; he gave me a ticket. It made me late for work so my boss was pissed at me all day. He made me finish my shift later to 'compensate' for the time I missed. I haven't been able to take a shower for two days and I'm tired and my back hurts because my bed is terrible.” He sighs, done enumerating the things that went wrong. “It was just a shit day.”

 

Luke nods because, yeah, he gets it. There's days like that when you feel like the world is against you and you just want to go sleep for a week or two. He leans forward and puts a hand on Ashton's shoulder, rubbing it lightly in what he hopes is a soothing manner. “I would offer you a beer, but I'm too broke to have some.”

 

Ashton chuckles at that, shaking his head fondly. “It's okay, man. I'm not here for your beer.” It reminds Luke why Ashton wanted to hang out in the first place: he needed a favour for something.

 

“Yeah, what do you need exactly?” He asks. The older boy shifts in his seat, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

 

“Um actually,” he rubs the back of his neck nervously, his smile gone, “I was wondering if maybe I could stay with you for a little while. I would pay a rent so you could save some money and I would sleep on the couch. It wouldn't be for too long, only until summer or 'til I find something else.”

 

Luke looks at his friend for a moment because there's no way Ashton can be that anxious about asking to live with Luke. They've been best friends for four years, obviously Luke is going to say yes.

 

“Ashton,” he speaks softly, “of course you can come live with me! But why? Did your roommate kicked you out or something?” Luke is not mocking, he's actually concern because he suspects something happened if Ashton is in this state.

 

The other boy clears his throat and looks at Luke through his eyelashes. “Okay, uh, I might have lied to you, Luke.”

 

The blond looks at him with confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

“I never had an apartment. I lived out of my car since I moved here. That's why I got pulled over actually and why I'm asking you this. I can't afford another ticket.”

 

And now Luke looks at him with utter disbelief and profound incomprehension. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Why wouldn't Ashton tell him this information about his life? He could have come live with him from the beginning. He's staring at the drummer and Ashton actually looks sheepish, but he still has a little smirk in the corner of his mouth, like saying ' _Eh? It's a funny story, isn't it?'_

 

“Why didn't you just tell me, Ash?” Luke finally says, not angry, simply trying to understand.

 

“I didn't want you to worry. I thought I was gonna be okay living in my car and I could save money this way. I just... I guess I thought you wouldn't let me do it and convince me to come stay with you or something.” He bites his lip nervously, probably afraid that Luke will be mad at him.

 

“You bet your arse I would've.” He laughs because it's over and he can't really do anything about the past. Ashton is alive so there's nothing dramatic about all this. Also, he doesn't want his friend to feel bad. It seems to work a little because Ashton relaxes a bit and chuckles softly.

 

“So,” the older boy says before clearing his throat again, “I can come live with you, then?”

 

Luke rolls his eyes and laughs. “Yes, you idiot.”

 

A big smile grows on Ashton face and Luke thinks he's never seen the guy so relieved before. He gets up, beaming. “I'll go get my things in the car.” Luke's going to follow him, but Ashton stops him before he's got out of his chair. “Don't bother. I don't have that much stuff, you can stay here.”

 

So Luke obliges and waits inside while Ashton goes down to his car. He washes his plate in the sink and puts away his schoolwork in his bag, deciding he's done for the night. Just as he’s finished tiding up the kitchen, Ashton comes back into the apartment with one of those big and old gear bag and Luke can't help but be stunned at how few things Ashton has been living on for the past two months. Although, he doesn't comment on that.

 

“You can put that in my room,” Luke informs. “Do you wanna, like, take a shower and then watch something on Netflix? I'll show you how the washing machine works tomorrow so you can get some laundry done.”

 

“That would be great!” Ashton smiles and puts his bag on the floor before he walks towards Luke. “Thanks a lot, man. You're really helping me out.” He wraps his arms around the younger boy's shoulders and holds him in a tight embrace. Luke instinctively responds to the hug, even though he's a little taken aback —but very pleased— by this sudden demonstration of affection.

 

“You would do the same for me,” he mumbles in his friend's ear. Even though this looks like it should be the end of the hug, Ashton doesn't let go and Luke starts to feel a little uncomfortable at the odd time of their embrace. “Go on now, you stink,” he finally says to break the silence and give Ashton the cue to step back.

 

Ashton breaks the hug with a warm smile still on his face and takes his bag to Luke's room before heading for the bathroom.

 

Luke can't help but feel light. Living with Ashton is going to be great! Maybe they'll even become permanent roommates.

 

He goes to the closet to get some blankets and a pillow, and starts arranging the couch so Ashton can comfortably sleep in it. It’s not the greatest bed, but it’s definitely more comfortable than Ashton’s backseat.

 

When he's done, he goes to take his laptop in his room and comes back to sit on the couch. He scrolls down the options on Netflix, not knowing what Ashton is in the mood for, but he guesses it's probably Family Guy, even though he has seen all the episodes.

 

Ashton quickly gets out of the bathroom. He's now wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His hair is damp, leaving water drops on his shoulders. He lets himself drop next to Luke, obviously tired, but his face lights up when he sees what's on the computer screen. Luke mentally high five himself for the good guess.

 

As he's getting closer to the older boy so they can sit comfortably with the laptop balanced on their legs, Luke can't help but take in Ashton's scent. He smells like soap; it's nice. Ashton is always nice. And if Luke rests his head on the other boy's shoulder, it's for comfort matters only.

 

**

 

Luke is a pretty anxious guy. He knows it, his family knows it and his friends know it. Even some people in his classes know it. It's just common knowledge.

 

He used to see the school counsellor for this when he was 10. They would meet once a week for three months and talk about what made him anxious, how to manage his stress, and breathing techniques. She was a nice lady, very warm and soothing.

 

She told him to find something that would make him relax when he was very stressed out or when his anxiety was too much. At first, it was playing Fifa or guitar for a couple of hours, the time his mind needed to stop thinking about crazy things.

 

Though, as he got older, the efficiency of these activities slowly started to lower. It's like something in his brain now knew that he was trying to escape his thoughts when he did this so it worked harder to make his anxiety rise.

 

He had to find something else. Crucially.

 

And he did. When he was thirteen and woke up mid wet dream. It was instinctive when he reached his hand down his pants and started moving his hand on his dick, gripping his length tighter as he was quickly approaching his climax.

 

He wasn't thinking about the history test he would have to take in a couple of hours or having to be teased in  English by Michael Dickhead Clifford (Luke still have trouble understanding how they got from hating each other passionately to  being  best friend, but he's glad they did). He wasn't thinking about anything. Actually, the only word running through his  mind at that moment had been  _fuckfuckfuck_ . He could only feel. It was so rare that Luke's feelings dominated his mind. He loved it.

 

That day, he didn't stress at all, even when the teacher called him out to answer a question in front of the whole class. It could have been a coincidence, obviously, but Luke soon did the correlation between getting off and his level of anxiety decreasing.

 

And it wasn't only having an orgasm, it was any stimulation really. That's probably why he wouldn't argue and just accept his faith when Calum would decide to grind on his arse, just messing around like the weirdo that he was, when Luke was laying on his front as they'd hang out in Michael's basement or his own bedroom. And maybe that's what confirmed his homosexuality and how he found out he was really into butt stimulation.

 

Luke masturbates for stress relief, so sue him!

 

And lately, Luke feels like his nerves are going to break from the pressure of his schoolwork and the terribly low amount of hours he's getting at his job. That's why he's in the shower right now, water running down his head and back, with one hand on the tile wall he's standing in front of and one on himself.

 

He's trying not to think of anyone in particular, just of some other guy's hand instead of his, but his imagination is slowly starting to add more details to his fantasy man. A muscled chest pressed against his back, impressively large hand around his shaft, stubbled chin on his shoulder, long sandy locks tickling his ear, Ashton's face pressed next to his.

 

Okay, Luke is thinking about Ashton. It's the kind of thing that should scream red flag, but he lets it be. He knows objectively that Ashton is an attractive guy, definitively his type. It was inevitable that he would end up thinking about him at some point in his life. It's simply normal that it's happening now that they've been roommates for two weeks and spend so much time together. Plus, Luke is too far gone at this point to care.

 

He quickens the pace of his stroking and can almost taste blood from where he's biting on his lower lip. He doesn't want to let too loud noises out since Ashton is in the flat, but he finds it difficult as he twists his wrist at the base and thumbs at his slit. His mouth opens against his will and the tiniest, breathiest whimper escapes him.

 

He's so close, he barely hears the loud banging on the door and Ashton screaming at him. His arm hurts from moving so hastily, but he can't stop. He can feel the heat growing in his gut, his legs starting to tremble and his eyes rolling behind his eyelids and he  _can't stop_ .

 

It's not surprising that he doesn't register Ashton barging in the bathroom. He only has conscience of it when the object of his reverie shouts his name, merely a second before opening the shower curtain, just in time to see him coming hard.

 

“You've been in there for 20 minutes and I nee- Oh shit!” Ashton is surprised, to say the least. Luke's heart jumps out of his chest and he turns around in a swift movement, his hips bucking despite his panic, like if they have a mind of their own, as he's riding off his orgasm.

 

He's blushing furiously because, fuck, Ashton just caught him jacking off on the thought of him. He doesn't know that last bit of information, but Luke still feels guilty. When he's come down the slightest from his high and he feels like he can properly speak, he dares to turn his head and glance at Ashton. He's standing still, in the same position he caught Luke, his hand still on the curtain. He's staring intently at the younger boy with wide eyes. Luke wants to be buried alive.

 

“Could you...,” he starts to say, but he's cut by Ashton suddenly snapping back to reality.

 

“Yeah, sure, absolutely.” The words almost spit out of him on their own and he leaves the room with his head down to hide his flush.

 

_Oh my God_ . Luke is going to die.

 

He finishes washing off his body swiftly and gets out of the shower. He doesn't want to leave the bathroom. He stands on the rug dumbly for about five minutes, with a towel around his waist, before he builds up the courage to open the door. He walks as fast as he can to his room, eyes glued to the floor. It's not until after he closes the door behind him that he allows himself to breath again.

 

_It's gonna be okay_ , he repeats himself over and over while dressing up. He could easily avoid Ashton for the next two months, that's reasonable. Luke would believe this idea if he wasn't so bad at lying, especially to himself.

 

He groans and lets his pathetic, idiotic self fall on his bed. He doesn't want to have to face Ashton. Every fibre of his bones repulses that idea and makes him want to throw up if he thinks about it too much. Maybe he could act like nothing happened, like it wasn't a big deal.

 

Luke rubs his hands over his face and sighs. He can't just avoid the subject, they have to talk about it otherwise it will simply extend the awkwardness of the situation.

 

With one last self-pitying thought, he gets up, put on clothes, and makes his way to the kitchen where Ashton is eating crackers, even though he'd rather crawl under his covers and sleep for six months.

 

Ashton looks up with a slightly panicky expression as soon as Luke puts one feet on the tile floor. It makes Luke think of a deer who's blinded by headlights before he gets run over by a car. He gulps and looks down quickly before settling his eyes on Luke again, his serious face on. Luke knows this face, it's the one Ashton uses when he's trying to look like he's calm and unfazed. It's a lie.

 

“Look, Ashton, I'm sorry you saw what you saw,” _Oh wow, this is going terribly and it's just beginning_ , “because you probably didn't want to see this,” _Go on with the same verb, Luke. Really, do it_ , “but I didn't know you were gonna get in and I know I should have locked the door -I thought I did- but the thing is, uh...” Luke wants to shoot himself. Deeply. With a passion. Right in the eyeball.

 

He doesn't know what to say next because what is there to say? He never had to deal with this kind of situation before. Of course, Ashton knows Luke jacks off —most guys do— but what if it freaks him out? What if he finds it weird since Luke is gay? No, that's not Ashton's type. The older boy is looking at him like he's waiting for Luke to go on and it makes him realize that he's been silent with his mouth open for what should be a solid 20 seconds. He licks his lips, ready to start blabbering incoherent things again, but Ashton beats him to it.

 

“Luke, it's okay. Really. Everyone masturbates. And I get it, you're stressed out lately.”

 

His face is hard to read. He seems like he wants to stay neutral and not show any emotion, probably because he's uncomfortable or because he wants to laugh but doesn't want to embarrass Luke more than he already is. Although, he also looks soft. Luke doesn't know how to explain it otherwise, there's just something so sincere about Ashton that takes the blond off guard.

 

And of course he would remember Luke admitting them on a drunken night three years ago that wanking is more important for his sanity than most people. Of course, Ashton doesn't think he's gross. Luke lets out a breathy laugh, a lot of the anxiety he had been feeling slipping off his back easily. It makes Ashton crack a little smile too, relieved as well.

 

“You're right,” he answers before clearing his throat, “So I guess the bromance has reached a new level, eh?” Ashton actually laughs loudly at that one and he shoves Luke's shoulder when he walks past him.

 

“Shut up and come watch a movie with me, you idiot.”

 

**

 

It started innocently. Really.

 

Ashton came in with an envelope and slammed it on the kitchen table, triumphantly. It seemed like his smile was taking all of his face, Luke noticed, and it warmed his heart a little. He loved when Ashton was happy. Fortunately, the older boy more than often was. These days at least.

 

“Paycheck!”

 

His proclamation shook Luke out of his contemplation and he arched an eyebrow. “That's great, man.”

 

“You don't understand.” He bit his lip with a mischievous smirk, “What have we been complaining we don't have enough money to buy for weeks now?”

 

Luke took a second to think about it, but it struck him like lightning. His face lit up at the realization and he looked at Ashton with his mouth exaggeratedly open to show his excitement and disbelief. He probably looked like a dork, but it made Ashton giggle so who cares?

 

“Beer money!” They chanted in unison.

 

That's pretty much how they ended up drunk in the living room with over half a 24 pack consumed. They called Michael and Calum to invite them, but they said some lame excuses about working late and school work.

 

“But we got beer!” Ashton protested in the phone, gesturing his hands toward the pack even though Calum couldn't see him.

 

“And I got an essay to write. But we'll see each other at your mom's birthday party, right?” He sounded hopeful, like Ashton could possibly not go to his own mother's birthday party and drag Luke along.

 

The blond snorted because, hell, it was Ashton they were talking about. Or maybe it was just Calum way of convincing himself that he would see his friends soon and he was making the right decision to priorize his education.

 

“Fine,” Ashton groaned, “but be aware that while you're doing your stupid essay, we're getting super smashed and you could have been with us. Tell Mickey that too.”

 

Calum just replied something in the line of “yeah yeah whatever have fun bro” and hung up. Though Luke would have liked to see his other friends, he was enchanted because it meant more beer for them and he was planning on getting totally wasted. He had been sober for far too long and he was definitely going to change that.

 

It started with some light drinking game while watching The Simpson, then it weirdly evolved in an improvised match of beer pong to somehow end up in Never Have I Ever.

 

Luke doesn't understand why they keep playing it. They know everything about each other. Or maybe that's why they play; they know what to say to make the others drink.

 

“Never have I ever,” Ashton slurs, giggling like a child, “gotten laid in this apartment.”

 

He is so proud to have come out with this question that he's so sure Luke will have to drink to. The younger boy's first instinct is to let out a big ' _HA'_ that means ' _In your face, you thought I would drink but nope'_ and he regrets it right after because he should probably be a bit embarrassed that his sexual life is so inactive that he never even gotten some in his own fucking flat.

 

Ashton is looking at him with confusion. At first, because he doesn't understand Luke's reaction and then because he does.

 

“What do you mean you never had sex in this apartment? You've been living here for almost two years,” he asks skeptically, turning to face Luke and sits crossed leg on the sofa, imitating the blond's position. Luke makes a face as he's trying to find a good explanation, even though there's not really one, but he's cut off by Ashton gasping and looking at him with serious concern. “Have you not have sex since you moved here?”

 

Luke laughs at that. He's lame, but not that much, jeez. He leans forward and shoves Ashton's shoulder weakly. “No.” He's still laughing. Ashton breaks a smile and giggles softly too, probably reassured that Luke's sex life is not  _that_ terrible. “It's just,” Luke continues, “I never brought a guy home. I usually go to his place. That's it.” Luke shrugs like it's nothing. He tries to look casual, but he's uncomfortable. He feels like he's hiding something from Ashton. Which he's not, technically.

 

“Why not bring him here?”

 

Ashton asks a lot of questions, Luke thinks. It's not malicious though, he's just honestly curious and interested in his friend's life.

 

“I don't know,” Luke admits shyly, “It just feels intimate.” It's probably the beers that make him confess, or maybe it's the way Ashton is looking at him. Luke can't hide things from Ashton. “I don't want to let someone know that much about my life when I know he's gonna run off in the morning.”

 

“Oh,” Ashton says, realization striking him, “So you don't have a sex buddy?” He tilts his head to the side in a childish manner.

 

“A what?” Luke laughs again. That such an Ashton thing to say.

 

“A sex buddy,” he repeats, “A fuckfriend. A friend with benefits. A booty call. You know.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Luke says before shaking his head, “No. My sex life is not that stable and satisfying.” He chuckles and takes a sip of his beer. Ashton frowns and just stares at Luke for a moment, which kinda makes him uncomfortable, kinda makes him want to laugh because he's drunk and Ashton's expression his hilarious for Luke in this moment. Plus, he can't feel totally awkward with Ashton. They know each other too well, he couldn't judge him. Pity him a little, maybe, but never judge.

 

“So when was the last time you got some action going, then?” He finally asks, raising his eyebrows, a little smirk in the corner of his lips.

 

Luke chuckles. Ashton really speaks like an old person. Luke hums. He actually needs a little bit of concentration to remember it.

 

“Oh,” he suddenly recalls, “In May. When I came back to Sydney, I met with this guy I used to work with.” Luke presses his lips together and makes this grimace that looks like a reverse smile because, yeah, it has been a while.

 

“In May? That's almost five months ago!” Ashton voices what Luke was thinking, in total disbelief and maybe a little revolted. Ashton is a firm believer of the importance of sexuality for the health and Luke agrees, he just has some difficulties following his beliefs.

 

Luke doesn't really know what to say so he simply shrugs. Ashton is still looking at him silently, like he expects Luke to speak which makes him comply.

 

“There's just not that many interesting gay guys around and you know I don't like sleeping with strangers.”

 

“I do,” he says, nodding intently, “I still don't get why, but I do.”

 

“They don't know me,” Luke explains, comically outraged, “It's embarrassing to be this,” he struggles to find the right word, “exposed.” He shakes his head and let his eyes drop to his hands that are playing compulsively with his beer. “I don't want to embarrass myself.”

 

“Hey,” Ashton says softly. When Luke looks up, Ashton's eyes are easy on him and his smile is sweet. “It's okay. You do you, man. As long as you're happy.”

 

Luke smiles shyly and he's probably blushing – he's noticed that he does that a lot with Ashton – but he hopes the older boy assumes it's from the alcohol. They fall into a comfortable silence where they just look at each other with little dumb smiles on their face. At some point, Luke realizes it's probably weird and too fond for two friends to do that, even for them, so he sits up straighter and clears his throat before he lets a smirk appear on his face and a glint of malice in his eyes.

 

“What about you? When did you last got laid?”

 

He's probably gonna regret that question, he can feel it in his guts, but he's curious whatsoever and that's what they usually talk about on those kind of nights. It's routine.

 

“Like two weeks ago.” His answer comes easily like Luke asked him what brand of cereal he eats every morning. It's strange, Luke thinks, even though it's not. A clouded part of his brain his pissed that it happened when Ashton was living with him —which is totally irrational—, but the alcohol makes him feel light headed and he chuckles.

 

“Oh yeah? Where? Since it wasn't here.”

 

He leans forward a little, his face closer to Ashton's. If he were sober, Luke would probably worry about being at a reasonable “bro distance”, but he doesn't overthink when he's drunk, like when he masturbates. If it wasn't unhealthy, he would probably be drunk all week long.

 

Ashton giggles again as Luke is smiling teasingly at him. He's so beautiful, Luke has trouble believing it. He wants to grab his face and kiss him. Just a little.

 

“Um,” Ashton starts saying hesitantly, “Actually it was at a club. Remember when I went out with some guys from work? We went to, um, we went to _The Exhibit_.”

 

Luke laughs, but he doesn't really know why. “That's a gay club, Ash.”

 

He knows that club. He went there for his previous birthday and made out with a guy until he asked Luke if he wanted to “go somewhere private” and the blond freaked out before leaving hurriedly. Ashton bites his lower lip and Luke notices that the tip of his ears has redden a little.

 

“Luke, there's something I need to tell you.” Luke stops breathing and his heart starts racing even though he knows Ashton is going to tell him he's into guys. It's not very hard to guess, there's not a thousand confessions to make after admitting you went to a gay bar and hooked up with someone. He doesn't know why he gets nervous over something he has figured out, but that's a classic Luke and he has abandoned trying to understand his reactions years ago. “I'm bisexual.”

 

Ashton looks nervous too, which is understandable since he probably didn't tell a lot of people if he just told Luke now. He wonders if he's the first person he's told that to. Luke would like that.

 

“Since when?”

 

And of course that's the first thing that comes out of his mouth after his best friend just confessed his new found sexuality to him, because he's the stupidest person alive. It's not like he doesn't know Ashton was actually born this way, he just doesn't know how to speak and express himself correctly. He regrets immediately and wants to apologize, wants to explain what he really meant, but Ashton laughs. He understands.

 

“I started having suspicions when I was 18, but I was too scared to admit it to myself at the time so I just ignored it. Then I got with Bryana so I stopped thinking about it because it didn't matter anymore. It was a good way to avoid it, but, after we broke up, I couldn't pretend like I didn't know anymore. It was always at the back of my mind so I started... exploring a little two months ago, I think. I didn't want to tell you guys in case it was a phase, but I guess it's not.”

 

Ashton looks strangely calm and composed, he even smiles a bit. Luke remembers when he came out to his friends for the first time. He was scared shitless and he cried even before he could start talking. But he was also 16 and insecure on every aspect of his life and personality. Ashton is quite the opposite, most of the time at least. Luke still reaches to grab his hand to comfort him. Ashton squeezes his hand back and looks at him with gratitude. They stay in silent for a moment and Luke feels the need to say something, anything.

 

“So,” he starts even though he doesn't know where he's going with that, “You've been experimenting with boys?” he finally says. It's terrible, but it's better than nothing. Ashton laughs, but this time he inhales at the same time which produces a pig-like noise and makes him laugh even harder. It's cute.

 

“I've been with three guys,” he chants when he's regain a minimum of self-control, sounding drunker than the minute before. “Sexually,” he adds, letting the “S” slide on his tongue playfully.

 

He's giggling like a school girl now. Luke hums and nods, encouraging Ashton to go on. He's at a loss of words because of how fond he is of the older boy right in this moment. There's no particular reason, Luke's always lovey and affectionate when he's drunk. He can't stop smiling.

 

“I really like it.” Ashton nods his head vigorously with a bashful smile. “Like, really, really like it.” He hides his face in Luke's shirt and the blond simply pets his hair, amused.

 

“Hey, I'm Ashton and I think dick on dick is better than dick on vag,” Luke mocks in a stupid voice.

 

As expected, the older boy smacks his shoulder and laughs while mumbling something along the line of 'you're the dick', but Luke can't be quite sure since his voice is muffled by the blond's collarbone. A silence follows the insult. Luke would almost think Ashton fell asleep if it wasn't from the uncomfortable position that makes him shift here and there.

 

“You smell nice.”

 

“Shut up, you're drunk,” Luke mutters automatically before he even has the time to register the fluttering in his chest.

 

“It's true. It's because you take long showers.”

 

He sighs contently, hot breath penetrating the fabric of the younger boy's shirt. Luke feels heavy, in a good way. He never wants to move again, even though he knows his legs will be numb in a few minutes. Ashton's gasp makes Luke open his eyes that he didn't realize he had closed. The older boy lifts his head and looks at Luke with his eyes and mouth wide open.

 

“That's why you take such long showers!”

 

Luke can feel the heat climbing on his face burning his skin slowly. He knows exactly what Ashton is referring to. They haven't talk about it since that day and, honestly, Luke wasn't planning on changing that. Especially not in this moment, when his mind has too much free will due to the alcohol he absorbed and the images of fantasy-Ashton’s hand around his dick are too clear in his head.

 

He has no other choice but to play dumb. “Because I wanna smell good?”

 

Ashton giggles (Luke is starting to run out of words to describe Ashton's laughing. Chuckles, maybe? Giggles sounds more appropriate though) and shoves his friend's head to the left gently. Luke finds pleasant that, even when he's trying to demonstrate roughness, Ashton can only be fond and loving.

 

“No, idiot. Because you're wanking.”

 

Okay, Luke can't really avoid it anymore. At first, he intends to shrug, snort, maybe even make fun of Ashton a little to gain back composure, and change the subject. But there's something in Ashton's smile, or maybe it's his entire being, that seems so amused. From the way he's curling his body on himself, trying to hide his laughter in his lap, to his hands clenching tightly on Luke's forearms, and the little bumping of his back when he cackles silently. All of this, it makes him want for Ashton to stay like that forever. That's probably why he decides to ignore the flashing red lights in his head screaming for him not to make a stupid mistake that could end up really badly.

 

“You wanna know something funny?” Luke has a cocky smile on his face. The next day, his sober self will really wonder how he managed to be so confident.

 

Ashton straightens himself and lean s back a little with curious eyes and a smirk that says  _this is going to be good_ . He seems to have regain himself a little, not looking as much as his 18 year old self anymore. It shakes Luke's assurance a little because he is reminded of Ashton nowadays. Muscular, confident, cooler, laid back, 21 years old Ashton. He almost retreat s from his confession, but he has already started and Ashton looks intrigued.

 

Luke is suddenly overrun by the desire to impress the older boy. His revelation has to be big, he can't just make up some random, insignificant fact that would only be slightly entertaining.

 

“The other day, when you saw me in the shower, I was actually thinking about you.” Ashton's eyebrows shoot up, but not in a bad way. He doesn't look mad, more like he's interested by the revelation.

 

“Is that right?” He asks with a satisfied smile.

 

“Yeah, like, it just happened. It's not like I always think of you when I get myself off or something weird like that.” Ashton bites his lower lip to stop himself from smiling. He probably wants to make fun of Luke, but he refrains from doing so. For now. Luke knows that he's definitely going to be teased later on. “Don't laugh! What do you want from me? I'm just a teenager with a poor sexual life and an attractive roommate.”

 

Maybe he should have left that last information a secret, but it's the truth. Anyway, the other boy has probably already figured that Luke finds him good looking if he was using him as self-made imaginary porn. Ashton uncrosses his legs and kneels on the sofa, lifting himself a little and Luke as to tilt his head up slightly to maintain eye-contact. He gulps.

 

“So,” Ashton says in a calm, but assured, voice, “You were thinking about me?” He has that little smirk on his face, the same he has when he knows he has the upper hand.

 

Luke can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears.

 

“Yeah.” His voice is small.

 

“You were thinking about my hand on your dick?” He lowers his face so it's closer to Luke's. “My lips on you?” Their noses are touching, Luke can feel Ashton's hot breath on his mouth when he speaks those words. He's about to flinch, he has trouble breathing normally, and Ashton still has that confident but now sweeter smile plastered on his face. It's inviting and Luke is drawn to it. He swears their faces are made of magnets.

 

“Yeah,” he exhales after a moment, finally answering Ashton. “Your lips,” he continues because he doesn't know if Ashton is going to make a move, even if Luke has no doubts he wants to, “I imagine them chapped, somewhat.” His eyes keep flickering from Ashton's eyes to his mouth, like a twitch.

 

“Really?” Ashton's smile is brighter now. “Is that so?”

 

He doesn't let Luke the time to answer and connects their lips together. It's nice, really. Ashton's lips are just like he imagined, if not a little rougher. The kiss is gentle though. Delicate, even. It's not rushed and there's no tongue jabbed in his mouth. Just Ashton's mouth caressing his, with his lower lip trap between Luke's.

 

Ashton is a great kisser, there's no refutation in that. His mouth moves smoothly on Luke's and his hand finds its way to his neck. He takes his time, but not because he's hesitant, more like he's savouring the moment.

 

Luke, on the other hand, is not that great. He's an eager kisser, has always been. After enjoying Ashton's slow rhythm for a moment, his instinct makes him move his mouth faster, open wider. He wants more, wants to feel everything Ashton's kiss can give him.

 

Ashton obliges, in a way, to Luke's silent demand. He kisses him deeper and let their tongues meet and discover each other, while moving closer to Luke, straddling his hips clumsily – they're still drunk, after all –, cupping his face with both hands because he likes to touch the other person when kissing. Or maybe it's just for balance.

 

As the kiss goes on, Ashton slowly sprawls himself more and more on Luke until they're connected from ankles to nose. He has to arch his neck considerably to angle his face with Luke's and keep their lips together. It must be uncomfortable and he's probably gonna hurt tomorrow, but he doesn't complain or make a move to change his position. It only feels natural for Luke to lay his hands on Ashton's lower back and let his fingers dance on the skin that is exposed where his shirt has risen up.

 

It probably looks very ungraceful, but it's lazy and Luke likes it.

 

After what feels like 30 seconds but is most likely 10 minutes of making out, Ashton retreats his head a little so they're not kissing anymore. They're still extremely close though, the tip of their noses touching. He's looking deeply into Luke's eyes while trying to even his breathing. He's panting, with his mouth open just the slightest, and Luke realize he is too.

 

It feels weirdly intimate and Luke soon finds himself smiling. Ashton smiles back —of course he does— and let his eyes fall on Luke's mouth for a split second one more time.

 

“I,” he pauses to clear his throat and somehow succeed to make himself giggle, “have to pee.”

 

He presses a swift kiss to Luke's lips and, before the blond can register it, he's off the couch and closes the bathroom door behind him.

 

Luke doesn't move an inch from his position on the couch. He's a bit sleepy and his eyes close themselves against his will. He doesn't know why, but suddenly he's very uncomfortable and really wants to take his pants off. They feel tighter than earlier in the evening. He shifts his hips to try to loosen them and-

 

Oh.

 

Yeah. Alright. He's hard.

 

Sober Luke would freak out. Sober Luke would question the entirety of his life's decisions, fake his own death and start up a new life in Mexico under the name of Javier Martinez.

 

But this Luke, drunk  _and_ aroused Luke, could not care less. He even dares to laugh a little at what's happening. Four years ago, Ashton was defending him and his ridiculous glasses from bullies and now they had made out on the couch long enough for him to get an erection.

 

Yep, Luke definitely finds the situation more funny than dramatic because who could have thought this was going to happen, but at the same time it's so... them?

 

But, even though Luke is not panicking right now, he decides to call it a night because enough lines have been crossed tonight and he really doesn't think hooking up with Ashton while they're drunk is a good idea.

 

For a second, he wonders if he would be willing to do it if they were sober, but quickly shakes his head and reminds himself that Ashton and he are best friends. They won't sleep together. They  _can't_ sleep together.

 

Could they?

 

“Shut up, Luke. Go to sleep,” he thinks aloud before getting off the couch. He laughs to himself because his inner Luke is so bossy.

 

He's in bed and falling asleep before he can even hear Ashton get out of the bathroom.

 

**

 

The next morning, Luke doesn't expect them to talk about it. He assumes they're going to ignore it and act as if it never happened. He even contemplates the possibility of it being awkward for the first couple of minutes.

 

But then Ashton sends him a cheeky grin and teases Luke about the fact that he finds Ashton attractive and Luke replies:

 

“You're the one who kissed me first.”

 

“Yeah and, about that, why did you leave when I was in the bathroom? That's not really gentleman of you.”

 

“I was tired,” Luke shrugs.

 

“I felt incredibly used.”

 

“You were. I only like you for your body.”

 

And that's it. They laugh, joke about it sometimes, and tease each other. It doesn't feel like a big event in the history of their friendship like the day Ashton protected Luke at the movies or the first time Ashton showed Luke his scars.

 

No, the first time they kissed is just a day like the others and life goes on: They keep being roommates, Ashton still sleeps on the couch at night and paints house at day. Luke is still stressing over school and not sleeping enough. They still cuddle up next to each other when watching Netflix.

 

Everything is normal and Luke deeply enjoys it, even though he sometimes wishes something more would happen between them, or  he  catches himself staring at Ashton's lips for just a bit too long. He doesn't want to be like that, but he can't help it. Ashton is just  _so_ attractive. It's painful, really, how much he's his type.

 

But Ashton doesn't seem to notice —Luke thanks God everyday for that— nor does he seem to suffer from the same problem as Luke. He doesn't know why, but the blond is just convinced that Ashton never really thinks back to that night with hope that it happens again.

 

Sure, he winks flirtatiously at Luke and makes innuendos on purpose, but Luke  _knows_ it's only jokes. He feels it deep in his bones.

 

Until a week later. More precisely, Thursday, October 1 st . Rent day.

 

“Ashton, give me your share of the rent. I'm gonna go to the bank after my class.”

 

For once, Luke isn't running late to catch his bus. He actually decided to go to school early that morning. He doesn't have class before one o'clock, but he wants to finish some homework at the library and maybe go talk to one of his professor about an assignment. Luke is actually proud of himself because, today, he is not a big mess.

 

He finishes lacing up his shoes and grabs his keys on the shelf beside the door, his bag already on his back. He still have 15 minutes to get to the bus stop, which is more than enough.

 

“Hum,” Ashton says as he exits the kitchen to meet Luke in the living room.

 

He's wearing sport shorts and a tight white shirt that shapes his shoulders and chest nicely, not leaving too much to the imagination. His face is free of his wild locks that are usually all over the place, but now tied up, showing off his features and bright hazel eyes. Luke guesses that he's about to go out for a run.

 

“What if I told you I'm 100$ short?” Ashton cringes at his own words, offering a grimace that is meant to be a smile but that also knows Luke is going to be pissed off.

 

And he is. Ashton looking hot as hell in his workout clothes is not even good enough distraction to soothe Luke's frustration.

 

“I would tell you to suck my dick because I can't afford to pay more than my share this month. I changed my budget since you told me you would pay rent, Ash.”

 

His voice is sharp at the last sentence. He doesn't like to snap at Ashton, but can you blame him?

 

“I will pay you back soon, I swear. Please, I really don't have the money right now.”

 

“Are you serious? Do you think I do?” He's speaking with his hands now. They're moving around in the air in the same characteristic way Ashton normally talks. Luke gets like that when things get heated.

 

“I will do it.”

 

Luke stares at him with an annoyed expression. He doesn't have time to stop and wonder what Ashton means. His bus is in 12 minutes.

 

“What do you mean 'You will do it'?”

 

“I will suck your dick.”

 

And he's smiling now. Like he actually thinks it's funny. Luke snorts, but it's not because he's amused. If he was still 15 and impulsive, he would probably punch Ashton.

 

“No, you won't. Now goodbye, I'm gonna miss the bus.”

 

He's about to open the door, ready to slam it in the older boy's face and leave him knowing Luke is mad at him so he can feel bad all day about it, but Ashton stops him.

 

“I'm serious, Luke.”

 

He sounds amused and Luke is so done. He wants Ashton to suck his dick, really. He daydreamed about it probably more time in the last week than what would be considered sane and now Ashton is joking about it. It's ridiculous.

 

He sighs and turns to face Ashton again, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes.

 

“You're not gonna prostitute yourself to me, Ashton.”

 

“Have you never heard of gay for pay?”

 

This time Luke only stares back at Ashton because, no, he never heard of that and it sounds fucking ridiculous. It still bothers him. He's the gay one, why doesn't he know what it is? It irritates Luke, in a weird way, that Ashton knows more about the trends or whatever in the gay community than him. It strikes him with the overwhelming feeling that he doesn't live his life fully.

 

“I can't believe I've been bi for two months and I know more things than you,” Ashton laughs.

 

Luke clenches his teeth. “Stop laughing at me.”

 

He doesn't know why it gets under his skin that much. He's just tired of being treated like an ignorant child that has to comply to everything people ask him. He's used to Ashton seeing him has a younger figure, but Ashton has started exploring his sexuality two months ago, he is not some kind of queer genius. And he wants his goddamn money for Christ's sake. Normally, he would probably let Ashton pay him later, but he made a tight budget that doesn't allow him to be 100$ short.

 

Ashton's laugh die down a little, but he still looks amused. Or fond. It doesn't calm Luke down, but he's a little satisfied that he had some kind of authority.

 

“No, no,” Ashton says, still a bit of giggle in his voice, “that's not what I meant.”

 

He takes two easy steps and suddenly he's right in front of Luke, only a few inches separating them. He cups Luke's face with both of his hands and the blond is mad that his breath gets caught up in his throat. Can for once his body not be so affected by Ashton Irwin?

 

“So?”

 

Luke relaxes a little. He wants to stay angry and stand his ground, he does, but it's difficult to do that when Ashton is looking at him with those beautiful eyes.

 

“What is gay for pay anyway?” He asks, even though he can guess easily. He's mainly trying to still be the one in control.

 

“It's exactly what you'd think it is,” Ashton answers before pressing his lips to Luke's jaw and travelling them down his neck.

 

Luke is surprised, to say the least, even though he should have seen it coming from miles away. He feels conflicted because he wants it,  _God he wants it_ , but Ashton doing this as consolation for not being able to pay the rent this month doesn't feel right. Even with this in mind, Luke breath still hitches and he still lets a little whimper escape him when Ashton starts sucking harder on his neck, teeth grazing against his skin, and his hands travel to Luke's waist, under his shirt.

 

“Ash...” Luke doesn't know if it was supposed to come out as a warning or as a moan, but Ashton doesn't stop the action of his hands moving toward Luke's stomach, just below his navel. It's when Luke's dick twitches at the apprehension that he finally snaps out of it. “Ash, stop.”

 

This time, Luke's voice is clear and firm and Ashton freezes in his position.

 

“Oh God,” the older mumbles against his neck before taking a few steps back. His eyes are wide like a deer that’s been caught in a headlight. “Please tell me I haven’t read this all wrong? I thought… I-I’m really sorry.”

 

His face grows redder as he’s rambling some explanation about thinking that Luke was attracted to him but that he was obviously wrong and, honestly, Luke doesn’t get half of what he’s saying because he speaks at an alarming speed and the fact that he seems to think that Luke doesn’t want to have sex with him is just out of Luke’s understanding. He wants to get under Ashton’s touch so bad and, even though he hoped the other boy wouldn’t notice, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious.

 

“No, Ashton, wait.” Ashton stops speaking and Luke licks his lips to try to buy himself some time to make sure he won’t make an ass of himself. “I am… attracted to you and,” he glances at the window for a second, “I did like what you were doing just now. It’s just that I don't want you to do something you don't actually want to do just because you owe me something.”

 

He actually cringes and hopes that it didn't sound as ridiculous as he thinks it did. Ashton looks at him for a second with his eyebrows drawn together in the middle before a smile appears on his face and it seems like a weight has been taken off his shoulders. If Ashton's presence wasn't so familiar and comforting for Luke, he probably wouldn't have surrendered into the touch when the older boy got closer again and grabbed his face with both hands.

 

“Trust me, I want to.”

 

And that's pretty much all it took for Luke to let himself be kissed and kiss back while thinking that this is way better than every time he imagined it, and ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him that this could be a terrible mistake.

 

Luke remembers what it feels like to kiss Ashton – the last time wasn't too long ago, after all. He remembers the scrapping of his stubbled chin against his own and the tickling of his curls against his forehead. He remembers how good it feels when their tongues slide against each other and when Ashton's fingers twist in his hair. He remember that he liked it in the past, and he acknowledges that he still likes it.

 

What Luke likes the most, though, in this very moment, is the feeling of the new things Ashton does. He gets the calloused hands that roam on his sides for a moment before lifting his shirt up, not all the way, just enough so he can press kisses down his chest and stomach.

 

He can already feel himself getting hard, even so soon, mainly from anticipation. He waits for the usual moment when his nerves kick in and make him run away, but it doesn't come. Before Luke can properly realizes that his anxiety will let him have sex this time, Ashton is on his knees, kissing his abdomen and unbuckling his belt.

 

“This is still okay?” The older boy asks, lifting his head to look in Luke's eyes.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah.” Luke closes his eyes and curses at himself. _You need to shut up._

 

He doesn't dare to open his eyes, not yet, and simply let his right hand settle in Ashton's hair as he feels the cold air hitting his dick quickly being replace d by a warm hand.  _Shit._ By now, Luke is fully hard, but he can't find it in himself to be  embarrassed. Let's just hope Ashton doesn't notice, after all, he's never seen his dick like that, he can't know. 

 

Ashton doesn't waste too much time jerking him off before taking him in his mouth. It's even warmer now and the saliva makes it easier for Ashton's hand to slide up and down his dick smoothly. Luke had really miss ed this comfortable, pleasant sensation. Ashton seems to know what he's doing, too, because his tongue curls just at the right  place , his cheeks hollow perfectly and he even sucks his balls a little, something Luke didn't dare to do in his first experiences, but he defin i tely should have because it feels amazing.

 

“Fuck,” he moans without meaning to. He bites down his lip so it doesn't happen again.

 

He finally builds up the courage to open his eyes and look down at Ashton, and damn is it a sight. He's got his lips all plump ed and red, shining with saliva and – Luke almost nuts just thinking about it – probably precome. His hair is dishevel l ed, curls going everywhere, thanks to Luke's hand wandering in it and gripping maybe too tightly at occasions. But the thing, the one thing that really wrecks Luke all over, is Ashton's eyes  staring directed into his own.  _Jesus._ He takes deep breath es to try and keep himself going for a little more time, but he knows he's not going to last much longer.

 

“I'm close,” he mutters, keeping his mouth as closed as possible so any other sound can come out of him.

 

Ashton seems to like that statement because he bobs his head faster, hollowing his cheeks even more and sucking tightly around him. Luke can feel the hotness in his guts increasing, expanding to his thighs and his whole stomach. He's right on the edge and Ashton fumbling with his balls for literally two seconds is what tips him over. He comes gripping Ashton's hair way too tight and biting his fist to keep himself quiet.

 

He leans his weight completely against the wall, letting himself recover from this. By the time his breathing has gone back to normal, Ashton has put Luke's pants back up and his looking at him with the widest of smiles.

 

“You weren't kidding when you said you really liked being with guys, eh?” Luke says humorously.

 

Ashton just laughs and press a kiss on Luke's forehead before leaving the  apartment swiftly to go on his run, saying something about going to the grocery store later. Luke sighs happily and pushes his hair away from his eyes. 

 

He's clearly missed his bus.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably make a serie out of it if I find the motivation to write more chapters.


End file.
